The title itself describes the confusion of a third culture kid’s (TCK’s) mind. In fact, I’m not leaving home or going home, I’m just leaving New Zealand to go to India.
New Zealand couldn’t possibly be home, because although I was born here and now lived here for 18 months, I didn’t spend any of my growing-up years here. I didn’t go to school here. My Mum’s not really kiwi, and my Dad really isn’t kiwi. So this couldn’t possibly be home.
While I spent 18 years of my life in India, that obviously isn’t home, because I am white, I don’t look like everyone around me, I don’t act like everyone around me. I clearly look different, sound different, feel different – so I’m not Indian.
Yet, I have a New Zealand passport, I have a New Zealand birth certificate, I look kiwi, I speak English, I know my way around Auckland. I’ve spent a year at university in New Zealand, building connections, growing my friendships, travelling around the country. I have family here, I have a wonderful support network. I have worked and earned money here, I’ve paid my taxes here. Aotearoa is beautiful, this is home!
But so is India, the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, feels, the sensory overload as soon as you step out of the air conditioned airport doors. The sensory overload through the bustling, crowded streets. The beautiful architecture, the vast plains, the paddy fields, the rolling tea bushes, the beaches, the rugged mountains, the cities which never sleep – that is home! I’ve spent my life immersed in Indian culture, eating jalebis and wearing kurtas. I’ve spoken multiple Indian languages, I’ve been to multiple schools, driven on multiple roads. Bharat is beautiful, this is home!
So I’m leaving New Zealand to visit India for 8 weeks. I am stopping at 11 different destinations in 7 different states. I’ve been to each one of those places before. But I know that this time will be different. I will see the country, my home, with a new filter. I will see India partially through the fresh eyes of a “kiwi”. I have missed the sights and smells and sounds – and oh the tastes of biriyani, jalebis, pooris! I am so desperate to be immersed in another culture, a rich, diverse, extravagant culture.
Come on this journey with me, travel home with me, through the lens of my camera, and the ink of my pen.
Ooooh yayy you’re going to be a blogger! (Shanti and I are so extra we have two blogs.) Yeah… Also, this post is A+ for relatable. Our house is a dreadful mess in the midst of packing while our whole family gets ready to move for six months and us for a while. I’m having all these mixed emotions–like, I’m confused but also excited, but also India totally feels like home helllpp. Do you have any advice? Also, what platform did you use for making this blog?
Hey Shar, so happy that you found my little blog 🙂 I 100% understand the mess of packing and absolutely hate packing – which is so ironic because I have to pack up absolutely everything at least once a year (and have been doing so for the last 10 years or so..) I know India feels like home, and trust me – the weird things of NZ will seem so foreign at times, but also so normal at other times. I suppose it’s just a matter of getting used to having two normals – on different ends of the spectrum. Being back in India has just been the best “home” feeling and every day I’m like “I don’t want to go home (NZ).” Anyway – keep my posted on your transition – every TCK experience is a different one 🙂 And the platform – wordpress.org